Getting Hitched
Well somehow we survived the weekend. In all honesty, the wedding was a hoot. There were the notable failures and stinkers, and I did expect more people. But really, it went exactly as we planned.There have been a few requests for the Seuss vows, so I thought I would post them here. I do not know if it the group was genuinely engaged by the verse, or if they watched in horror like driving by an auto accident. Darcy and I enjoyed them, and really, that is all that matters.
The Seuss Vows
Alex:
Some think marriage is just like a noose
But really I think it’s more like a truce
We’re gathered here to ---- let loose
Although what follows is a bit obtuse
And with apologies to dear Dr. Seuss
These vows are more like verbal abuse
Because getting married comes with some strings
We’re blessing more than just these two rings
You will get dinged on many things
‘Cuz some gathered here will surely keep score
Darcy:
As surely as we all stand on this shore
I’m certain I’ll love him evermore
Alex:
Will you love and to hold
Will those feelings stay bold
Is that what we’ve been told?
Darcy:
I will love him, that’s my plan
I will love him as my man
I will love him like my clan
I will love him eating flan
Alex:
Man, clan, flan, plan
How about in your minivan?
Darcy:
I will love him in a van
Heck, I’d even love him in Sudan
Alex:
Will you do it forward from today
As we stand here by the quay?
Darcy:
Not just today but each and every day
From this love I will not stray
Alex:
Perhaps we should hurry so we can hit the buffet
Darcy:
I will take him when he is poor
I will take him when he is rich
I won’t push him out the door
It’s Drew’s star that I have hitched
I’ll be there when he is sick
I will be there when he’s well
I won’t hit him with a stick
In our home is where I’ll dwell
I will take him when he’s good
I will take him when he’s worse
I will take him when I should
Even if he’s bad at verse
So if you’ve thought this through and through
And the man for you is Drew
And these feelings are quite true,
Do you take this man?
Darcy:
I do.
It is this man that I will love
It is this man that I will cherish
Alex:
Then it is clear
To us here
That these feelings will not perish
Will your heart stay true?
Not to put the horse ‘fore the cart
What about the till death do us part?
Alex:
You can cart out that part
But you better not start
Till you’ve looked in your heart
Do you need a flip chart?
I don’t need a chart
I don’t need a cart
I don’t need an external body part
I just know everyone here
Including my dear and that drunk in the rear
Know that my promise is very sincere
Alex:
Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:
Then I’d be certainly remiss
If I didn’t insist
That you give the girl a kiss
(But be sure not to miss)
Alex:
Since Darcy said she does love Drew
And we can tell their love is true
And all of us heard them say “I do”
I’m pleased to present Thing One and Thing Two.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Darcy, Drew and Family.
posted by Drew Keller @ Monday, August 07, 2006
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